Chain of Regrets

                          Thurston’s Thoughts

Selectively Ours

Chain of Regrets

Their is an old saying everybody thought somebody would do what anybody could have done but nobody did. The conclusion is nobody acted assuming anyone other than themselves would see the need or possess the compassion. Surely someone out of everyone would feel compelled but still nobody would conceive everybody, anybody, or somebody would not ensure it was done. So the moral of the story is if you do it, you ensure somebody did it. The polite courtesies of cowardice or apathy maintains the civilities of disregard among the apathetic without the remorse of their joint indifference.

This indifference to act is sequestered in the regret protection program whose deficient intent is now disguised as concern to suppress the glare of guilt, obligation, or detachment. Sometimes in life we can not do tomorrow what should have been done today. Pretending not to see the necessity is a violation of the obligation treated as an option dismembered from the circumstances which created the obligation. In many times of need our cup overflows when receiving generosity, grace, or compassion but not so vigorously when it’s time to reciprocate.

Therefore, is the regret of actions, inactions, or the negative reflection regret cast. The preservation of pretense mandates an exonerated rationalization uniting anyone whose record is less than sparkling. Whenever there is a finality, time and space collapses upon itself to not only reveal its treasures but also isolates its trespasses. A judgement day of sorts whose verdict should render accountability by degree of obligation and not selective revisionist alteration. So, our trespasses against others reveals our sensitivities and sensibilities eventually becoming transgressions against our character.

These perspectives of bluster mirrors the sorrows we emotionally entomb creating a chain of regrets. The pretensions and denials before the cock crows a condemnation consoles our virtue greasing the skid of disassociation from validated expectations. This stunning display of negligence is an abandonment of an anticipated contribution as the equilibrium of circumstances shifts from the need being ours to someone’s whose coat has been placed in the mud on our behalf. This is especially grimy if a willingness providing only time and effort is all it takes removed from any monetary considerations.

Having the back of those who have had our back, particularly when our dependency was sustained by their contribution. Biting the hand that has fed us or withholding actionable gratitude invalidates the appreciation or concern which should have been abundantly returned. So, pardon my unapologetic compulsion to accredit ingrates with their ingratitude. The self-identifying ingratitude sought to be ignored when time takes its place is a delusional installation of buttocks firmly placed upon one’s shoulders head centrally inserted.

The extraction of dignity bears the aroma of its stool of obligational dishonor. Unfortunately, the stench of ingratitude is often so prevalent as to normalize the fragrance of camouflaged indignity. The lack of return on investment is selectively ours, just as the disdain is the prerogative of the investor. To forsake a kindness rendered or compassion owed will be judged by time and condemned by fate. Often we don’t choose our circumstances or the people who assist us through them. However, if and when the opportunity arises we decide how we honor them. Time has revealed how they have honored theirs’s as it will expose how we have chosen selectively ours.


Prison of One

              Thurston’s Thoughts

Solitary Confinement

Prison of One

Wanted to relay a perspective about bad experiences, mistakes, and failures. Life’s challenges and disappointments will hit a fork in the road and a decision of which road to take must be made. A prisoner in a cell was asked “what you in for and how much time you done’? The prisoner replied, “guilty of memories which I refuse to shake and it has been so long I stopped counting”. The first prisoner replied, “me too, memories, but I’m just passing through”. The prisoner facing hard time then asked, “how did you get out so soon”? He replied “it is not a life sentence just an indefinite one. You can leave whenever you like.”

Many times we keep ourselves prisoners to our thoughts, memories, and circumstances beyond the pain of hopes delayed, uselessness, or a lesson learned. Our cell is a construct of our mind built with fear, anger, and regrets of what was lost or never realized. Rest assured it will be compounded by the loss of what cannot be gained while locked in a psychological and emotional cell of our incarceration. Ask yourself, what is stopping your freedom, if not you? It is a solitary confinement heavily guarded by our ego, shame, and other’s opinions. But, that’s on us player. Whatever has imprisoned us either is no longer an option or could care less that we are not or never were.

In many ways we are self-healing by our thoughts and emotions. The difference is our thoughts and emotions can be prevented from healing by our choices, influences, and insecure shadows in our mind. Family, it is nothing more than memories and hormonal reactions that we control if we choose. So, things didn’t work out today may be because it was making us available for a better outcome tomorrow. I have learned the wisdom of not fluctuating according to events or emotions. But, instead accept it and look beyond the occurrence to practice the patience of anticipating the reward beyond my wisdom or vision. Life is strange that way, perseverance will expand our limit when we feel we have reached it or to further distance us from it.

Very few things in life we are unable to hop back from. It is just an adversary waiting to be conquered, out maneuvered, or disregarded. For example, ever want someone back and encounter them only to see they are not the memory of what you were missing. That seeing them gives closure to the foolishness of missing them. Now you are relieved and lucky you dodged that bullet.

But what if as a result of it you stepped your game up and now the shine is much brighter than it was before due to their absence. But all you can do is thank them for the inspiration that molded you through the adversity they left you in. Realize it is not pain or failure it is fuel, turbo fuel. So, the solitary confinement can be short and beneficially used more as a temporary detention for improvement or indefinite hard time in a prison of one confined by memories. Which road have you taken, memories or freedom from their limitations? The choice is entirely yours.

Thurston K Atlas

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