Prison of One

              Thurston’s Thoughts

Solitary Confinement

Prison of One

Wanted to relay a perspective about bad experiences, mistakes, and failures. Life’s challenges and disappointments will hit a fork in the road and a decision of which road to take must be made. A prisoner in a cell was asked “what you in for and how much time you done’? The prisoner replied, “guilty of memories which I refuse to shake and it has been so long I stopped counting”. The first prisoner replied, “me too, memories, but I’m just passing through”. The prisoner facing hard time then asked, “how did you get out so soon”? He replied “it is not a life sentence just an indefinite one. You can leave whenever you like.”

Many times we keep ourselves prisoners to our thoughts, memories, and circumstances beyond the pain of hopes delayed, uselessness, or a lesson learned. Our cell is a construct of our mind built with fear, anger, and regrets of what was lost or never realized. Rest assured it will be compounded by the loss of what cannot be gained while locked in a psychological and emotional cell of our incarceration. Ask yourself, what is stopping your freedom, if not you? It is a solitary confinement heavily guarded by our ego, shame, and other’s opinions. But, that’s on us player. Whatever has imprisoned us either is no longer an option or could care less that we are not or never were.

In many ways we are self-healing by our thoughts and emotions. The difference is our thoughts and emotions can be prevented from healing by our choices, influences, and insecure shadows in our mind. Family, it is nothing more than memories and hormonal reactions that we control if we choose. So, things didn’t work out today may be because it was making us available for a better outcome tomorrow. I have learned the wisdom of not fluctuating according to events or emotions. But, instead accept it and look beyond the occurrence to practice the patience of anticipating the reward beyond my wisdom or vision. Life is strange that way, perseverance will expand our limit when we feel we have reached it or to further distance us from it.

Very few things in life we are unable to hop back from. It is just an adversary waiting to be conquered, out maneuvered, or disregarded. For example, ever want someone back and encounter them only to see they are not the memory of what you were missing. That seeing them gives closure to the foolishness of missing them. Now you are relieved and lucky you dodged that bullet.

But what if as a result of it you stepped your game up and now the shine is much brighter than it was before due to their absence. But all you can do is thank them for the inspiration that molded you through the adversity they left you in. Realize it is not pain or failure it is fuel, turbo fuel. So, the solitary confinement can be short and beneficially used more as a temporary detention for improvement or indefinite hard time in a prison of one confined by memories. Which road have you taken, memories or freedom from their limitations? The choice is entirely yours.

Thurston K Atlas

Creating a Buzz

Can I bother you for Change?



Changing Times Changing Minds 

Let’s talk about personal change and relationships. We all have unique and specific traits developed from life experiences that shape our perspectives and desires from a young age. It defines us.

We were forming the basis for a powerful combination of compulsions and expectations reflecting how we act today, accounting for our varying expressions, rationale, or personal accountability.  It also influences the criteria and parameters of our relationships.

In other words, everything we have experienced contributes to some fluctuating degree of how we view life and what we become. Subsequently, it directs our behavior from the beginning of our life’s interactions, whether conscious of this fact or not.

Consequently, we learn by what we were taught or by what we were exposed to etched as accumulating experiences.  Even if these are shared experiences, they can never be perceived or imitated identically. The parts and participants are different. However, the expectations and projections often remain similar to the initial impression.

Our core integrity and identity evolve from our impressions as instructions of emulation. It even prevents us from being free to disengage or be open to change, being hostage to the psychological impressions of unwanted occupying depictions. Instead, we are compelled to imitate or resist replicating these influences as being preferred or not.

Don’t get me wrong; everything is not subject to negotiations or change, either governed by choice or compulsion. But, of course, we have our standards and will defend them because changing sometimes is not an easy task, especially if unaware.

From the restrictive lens in the confines of our “learned knowledge” and “limited experiences” specific to our influences, the standard is established by which we project ourselves as well as judge others.  Thus, the inconsistencies appear when we judge others in a manner that we prefer not to be judged.

Judging not the specific actions but the steadfast adherence to a way of being or insistence that another not be a particular way. We should not be caught being guilty of what we accuse others of, should we? By this standard, insisting on change can only be subjective and internally directed. Yet, it is the only change we have control over, and sometimes not even then.

Time may heal wounds, but it also exposes the truth. It most certainly distorts our core perception to shield examination of our predispositions from questioning.  The prior held compulsions from the period they were developed are distorted by time. But, is it in conflict now not accounting for the changes since that time? The need to conceal or deny them provides the answer, in which change is the solution.

After expanding our knowledge and experience, which initially consisted of significant diaper and potty time, we began to build a social rolodex of emotions. It is understandable if children do childish acts of concealment and lack the proper self-control but less so as you age and certainly not as adults.

The passing of time should enhance relationships and not smother their aspirations and possibilities. When sacrificing expression of your core desires through commitments and routines that build boredom, resentment, or limitations for the fulfillment of others, it does you no favors.

Just as they are free or not to express themselves, so are you and vice versa. The even yoke refers to the compatibility of your sincere freedom of expression manifesting authentically with your mate. But, maybe it should be to yourself. Any pretension or incumbrances indicates dissatisfaction and the need for it or you to change since someone else’s change is outside your domain.  

Conversely, as much as you are committed to your way, why can’t someone else be just as committed to their way? Why are their beliefs not just as certain as your commitment to yours? The key is both must be respected and devoid of infringement and must possess acceptance or at least tolerance if necessary. Tolerance is a parallel option to change.

All things change. It is inevitable. But, as time waits on no one, how much time do you have to wait on someone else’s change before bringing about one in yourself? Time is a valuable limited commodity. The young become old, the body’s flexibility is exchanged for flexibility of thought called maturity.

As things evolve, change is going to happen. So why is depletion or deterioration often necessary before a change occurs? The passion you used to feel, the anticipation, and the intoxicating excitement has been dulled by father time and lessened by your surrender to another’s restrictions.

It required complete surrender to acceptance, comfortability, and familiarity with the thrill being gone. It might not be decision-making time, but at least it is evaluation time. Is it your choice, which is fine, or undetected by time dulling of the senses and expectations? Pleasure is what you define it as for yourself, contentment devoid of dormant desires forsaken for complacency. 

Otherwise, it is a compromise of respect or diversion by dissolution. An agreement is not required because an agreement may not be attainable. It then does not require your consent but your submission. Acceptance may be a tolerable solution under the immunity of honesty.

Under a treaty of honesty, without deception or reprisal, primary is the courage to say it or receive it being said. Persuaded to lay bare the requirements of your satisfaction or willingness to satisfy.

Of course, a person can not be expected to meet all your needs and expectations, just as you cannot theirs. However, there is a tipping point where it is no longer fair exchange but robbery. Honesty would then be preferable to expectations begrudgingly met.

The reward for honesty is trust, and the penalty is acceptance of the honesty, not necessarily the conditions. Under this understanding, we only have to agree that you will respect mine as I will respect yours. It is a manageable compromise based upon what you are willing to give and what you are ready to accept that meets each other’s level of acceptance and satisfaction.

Concealment of your core promotes a response toward a masquerade instead of what would satisfy your needs. So, for example, parts of people you think you know very well are hidden from view and not for display shrouded by secrecy, shame, or deceit. The gift is glimpsing their nature and exposing yours protected from a penalty for doing so.

This hidden core either propels or confines but remains a third or fourth party to the relationship. As a result, most actions will hit the projection but miss the target.

Are you adhering to obsolete and antiquated images that form a projection that comforts you while deceiving others? Or maybe it restricts you while comforting others. Do you cling to that which is familiar but of little benefit, a prisoner of expectations?

 

Are you still guarding the fox hole when the matter has been determined long ago to be no longer contested as to who and what you are? How much time will you trick off pretending while mostly fooling yourself? Acceptance of you starts with you, the same as accountability and responsibility.

Will it be kept one thousand protecting the smothering masquerade or changed to release the unfulfilled real identity and expectations of yourself? Achieving a compromise or change must be directed toward securing a satisfactory outcome for the real problem or fear, your authenticity. You might have to accept their’s as well since the mirror is a projection and a reflection.

The more concessions you receive, the greater level of satisfaction you have. Consequently, what compromises or accommodations are you willing to give in return to maintain that level? Thus, a balance is created by transferring equitable preferences received in exchange for mutual satisfaction.

It is a give-to-get theory, but it may call for change or a willingness to change. Your actions then become a negotiated understanding by your benefit received.

A mutual understanding of this is the motivation to adhere to an acceptable level of conduct to receive the agreed-upon consideration in return. The cost comes in many forms, and payments are accepted in many more forms. The exchange is transactional for that thing you do.

Do you still expect the exchange without providing the value? Is it a stubbornness of expectations that prevents you from producing an exchange that improves the value of your association with each other?

First, let us examine why things might be the way they are or have been to evaluate if logic guided these responses and behaviors or errant emotions and deceit. We can then assess the changes we have control over.

So let us take it back before it goes wrong. Remember when we were motivated to impress a long time ago. As a result, we improved to be more alluring and the best adaptation of ourselves to attract our expectations. Was the change real or deceitful? This creates the very reasons we do the things we do, the why, and how or with whom we do them. 

Time reinforces distortions that magnify and create most insecurities, leading to a voluntary forbearance of our needs based on anticipated returns. Therefore, it builds dissatisfaction while craving a resolution to satisfy the void, the unfulfilled expectation.

It is human nature to feel a deficiency and have a corresponding emotional disposition. Thus, the feeling of lack is embraced as recognition of a void craving greater satisfaction. Accordingly, a desire to the addiction of expectations surrendered may develop.

It requires expressing our very nature to avoid feeling unable to give or maybe unworthy of receiving by refusal to express or reveal ourselves. It flows freely when given purely and is humbling when overflowingly received. This is the nectar illustrating what once was could be restored for just the tiny concession of change.

We must simply realize that the change in the relationship I am referring to is the one with ourselves. The internal influencing the external. Therefore, the changes are the ones we need to make within ourselves, influencing the change in others. However, their evolution may never come.

If they only would have changed have been adjusted as denial to justify our inaction. This blame perspective does not assert accountability over ourselves as the persuasion for others to recognize our value. If not, we can not blame others for the decisions we refuse to make.

A fresh start is frequently needed for rejuvenation or liberation to unleash our uninhibited expression. It requires breaking free from previous masquerades of restrictive expectations and behaviors. It requires making a choice.

Is it cheaper to keep our situations, projections, and perspectives devoid of the joy and exhilaration of self-expression? The beneficial effect on ourselves, others, and the quality of our relationships and life being hostage to an image, an imposter?

The power, control, and responsibility for our feelings or behavior remain our own. Therefore, in addition to being accountable for what we do or fail to do, we must refuse any obligation to be responsible for someone else’s. Instead, are we giving what we are seeking to receive, making a self-assessment to determine what is desirable, and implementing what it requires.

The change we would want the most is probably the one we need to make the most. So, double the improvement, solving two issues with one change.

First, holding ourselves to a standard of determination and perspective to portray ourselves without misconceptions seeking validation from others for their permission to be us. Secondly, our perspective dictates our mood, consequently controlling our mood controls our behavior.

A willingness to change by improving, evolving, growing, reinventing, pursuing, expressing, challenging, and in other words living without self-restricting doubts or perfection.

Accepting our uniqueness and insecurities as an unfinished work in progress reassures the only person we need to convince, and that is us. As humans, we all have limitations, so accept them but improve them.

Like wearing new clothes that make us feel good, a fresh perspective and self-fulfillment can work wonders, and we can wear them every day. But, initially, a shake-up of old self-defeating unfulfilling restrictions has to occur. Much like outdated gear, that has to go, especially if it is a loose fit or, worst, way too restricting.

Be sure not to become the very thing you despise the most and bring dissatisfaction upon yourself by refusing to change. Your level of contentment rests with your adaptability to your environment to attract your desired preferences that reflect your expectations.

Don’t flatter yourself. What is not attractive in others is no more somehow attractive in you. It is a difference between a classic antique and just plain outdated.

Start by eliminating excuses and becoming what you want to be by sacrificing the required effort to become self-fulfilling and authentic. That will be the best relationship you have ever had.

Do not be that person where it is said behind your back, of course, that you are no bed of roses. No matter what, don’t be the biggest problem in your life because you cannot change. Keeping those negative attributes is never cheaper to keep em when you add them up. Bothering to change is much better.

Keep in mind this is not gender-oriented but people-specific, where one size fits all changes. 

 

Thurston K. Atlas
Creating A Buzz

 

America’s Most UnWanted



Unwanted Dead or Alive

Attention. Attention, we interrupt your programming to bring you this breaking news bulletin to alert you to America’s Most unwanted being spotted in your area. They should be considered dangerous and not to be entertained, engaged, or challenged. An all-points bulletin has been issued with this warning, so be on the lookout for them or their gang.

They have eluded our checkpoints, APBs, and capture. We ask for the public’s help to bring them under control and end their rampage throughout society. Unfortunately, they have become more emboldened and arrogant in the audacity of their attacks and penchant for crossing boundaries to elude detection. Our efforts have been to detect, identify, verify, and prevent their wanton disregard for social order.

As we increase our efforts to bring this gang under control and critical information continues to pour in, we will keep you abreast of any additional developments. There have been widely reported sightings and leads pouring in. Still, without the public’s diligence and performance of their civic duty, we may labor in our pursuits. But, again, I repeat, do not be lulled into or swindled by their unassuming demeanor and deception.

There have been reports of sympathizers who have aided and abetted this gang by harboring and nuturing them. It seems they are undoubtedly unaware of the risks and danger they assume by hiding them or their danger to the public. This gang is volatile and may ruthlessly turn on you without much provocation or warning.

Many documented instances have occurred where the aftermath of their wrath has devastated those who have harbored them. Be especially diligent regarding impressionable children as they are notably susceptible and preferred victims of this gang, as are developing young adults.

At this time, we want to share with you as much information as we can without jeopardizing our efforts to suppress this gang or endanger the public unnecessarily. We are working to identify the members further but are reasonably certain of their roles and areas of expertise.

Their two oldest members running this gang, referred to as Public Enemy one and two. They are believed to have started the gang and provide its direction. However, various gang members have been known to operate independently or in conjunction with other members. One element that makes this gang increasingly dangerous is they are all very proficient in their own right, but when combined or operating as a whole, they are very formidable.

The entire gang rarely works together simultaneously as their motives may differ. However, there are reliable reports that members may be present but not participate in the actions of the others. They all flee the area together despite their participation. Their descriptions and characteristics provide distinctly identifiable profiles.

Public Enemy number one is without denial the mastermind and orchestrator. Number one controlling the gang’s activities is an active participant at all times. The gang benefits from this member’s charismatic and alluring persuasion.

This member displays the ability to infiltrate the heart and minds of unsuspecting civilians and is ruthlessly determined to deceive and connive others into assisting. Logic, reasoning, outright deception, and persuasion are the specialties of this member.

Public Enemy number two may be the downfall of this outfit for the flashy and braggadocious manner brashly displayed. Not the most dangerous member, but the confidence projected along with the skill set possessed makes this member the driving force of the gang and to be revered.

The image of the gang is shaped by this member and generates an assuredness of unlimited power and invincibility. This member is always present, and the influence is active and compliments Public Enemy number one quite well. Number two has also been known to take charge directing the gang’s activities.

The next members are fraternal, not identical twins, although they bear a strong resemblance. They often act as one unit with many similarities in their behavior. They are by far the most dangerous of the gang. Like Public Enemy number two, they are revered but also feared for their insatiable anger and hostile anti-social disposition.

They are more controllable if kept separated but must be constantly monitored by the other gang members, wary of when they may explode. Unprovoked, they may become extremely callous and violent. It is a delight that they savor when getting their hands dirty or doing the heavy lifting for the gang. But, unshockingly, it seems to unleash their psychopathic appetite for violence.

Once uncorked, they are tough to bring under control until they satisfy their thirst and exhaust their rage. Their only value to the gang is to do the unspeakable without remorse. They are simply muscle without much thought or self-control, often displaying psychotic behavior.

This fifth member is the twins’ cousin and can also become unhinged by the slightest provocation with actions that range from petty to outrageous. It must run in the family being first cousins. Their behavior differs slightly, with this member having a more sociopathic lean, including impulsive behaviors and responses that are not justified by the circumstances.

This member is tolerated only because of the value of the twins but not trusted or well-liked because of constant complaining and petty tendencies. The displays of neediness, proclamations of possessiveness, and conspiracies of betrayal detract from any value to the gang.

The sixth member is known to contribute as much as is sometimes taken away, displaying a demeanor with aspirations much larger than capabilities. This member has lofty ambitions of one day running the outfit despite glaring limitations.

Additionally, number six is unreasonable and though clever, claims to know more than the other gang members. Though very determined and principled but always resisting suggestions and instructions. Being irreplaceable as encouragement and a go-getter when on point, this member is the checks and balances of the gang.

The following two are related, although uncertain how. These two have only one objective, which is what is in it for them.  Not surprisingly, they are the least trustworthy of the bunch and most likely to flip when confronted, possessing little fortitude and even less loyalty. They have a tight bond and high ambitions.

Their tools of the trade are an eye for big-time scores and corruption of others’ vulnerabilities. They are first-class high-stakes grifters. Every outfit of ill repute can find value in their talents.

The last to round out the crew is the getaway driver providing a hideout to meet when something goes wrong or if separated. But, wait, what’s that? Our top-notch inspector spotted them and tracked them to their hideout with no time to call more backup. Therefore, they must act immediately, not knowing if and when a chance like this will present itself again.

They have the place surrounded, and apprehension is imminent. However, They must move quickly and use the element of surprise on a gang that often disappears as ghosts that transcend time, space, and body. Hence, the go-ahead has been given to execute the raid with extreme caution. We are awaiting word of the all-clear.

We are proud and relieved to let you know that the raid was an overwhelming success. All members have been apprehended and identification now known. The identifications are as follows; the leader Public Enemy number one is the Conscious Mind, a notorious enabler and deceiver. Public Enemy number two is the Ego, known to initiate bloated perceptions of self.

The twins are Hatred and Evil wanted for many unspeakable crimes of brutality. Member five is the cousin Jealousy, aka Envy, wanted for pettiness due to easily hurt feelings or bemoaning other’s good fortune, a real hater.

Member six is Pride, who led to the gangs’ downfall and a real know it all. The following two found hiding together, Greed and Lust, were no doubt hoping to hide the goods and escape discovery. Lastly, the getaway driver, Denial aka Ignore, was found to use the same pattern of getaway when returning to the gang’s hideout, the heart and minds of compromised individuals.

We and the public would like to recognize and thank the one responsible for figuring out this group of punks, tracking them down, and bringing them to accountability. Furthermore, we are indebted to the only one possessing the cunning to corral this gang, which is the one and only Subconscious Mind.

The subconscious mind is the most powerful computer known to man and not even remotely understood for its full range of capabilities. The subconscious mind is the unregulated truth, where change occurs and is a servant guiding our actions and beliefs. It controls not only our bodily functions but our perspectives and resulting accomplishments.

Unleashing the subconscious mind’s power controls our conscious mind and well-being. But, we must recognize and allow it to “apprehend” the deceptions of the conscious mind and the ego where these henchmen get their direction and permission.

Allow your subconscious mind to control your conscious mind and ego to overcome any insecurities and self-limiting behaviors. It is the direct path to correcting your flaws and controlling your emotions. Please further research the subconscious mind to understand its function and unlimited power.

Your conscious mind is designed to justify your thoughts and actions, no matter how unreasonable according to your self-justifications and weaknesses, making it easier to succumb to insecurities, fears, and delusions. This is the core of hatred and jealousy. In addition, it creates dangerous comparisons of self inadequacies. Thus, it develops either an inferiority or a superiority complex in contrast to the comparison. It can therefore generate evil validations.

The ego is a creation of the conscious mind and leads to excesses. It generates actions that crave confirmation and validation outside of yourself. It forces you to develop needy low self-esteem and self-doubt or a narcissistic exaggerated alter ego. Pride and denial often deceives what we know to be true. The result is a masquerade that fluctuates based on flattery and constant external validation. 

Interrupting your programming is a reference to the psychology of your conditioned perspective. It refers to the undetected forces that distract your focus, scattering your concentration exaggerating the symptoms while disguising the cause leading to the cure. 

The cure resides in the subconscious mind to directly address the compulsion instead of the manifestations presented by the conscious mind. Consequently, the command resides in the subconscious mind, while its resistance will be mounted in the conscious mind by default.

The conscious mind is the hardware. The ego and the enemies mentioned above are acquired perspectives, the apps. The subconscious mind is the software and coding or operating system. The operating system dictates the functions of the hardware providing the hardware has compatible and accommodating  capacity.

Extraordinary power exists in everyone to command the subconscious mind’s services and benefits. Those who can access this power on demand discover an amazing ability to develop willpower, discipline, and peacefulness creating their success.

Consider how anger, desperation, dealing with pain, or dire circumstances produce some of your best efforts because they take the thought or conscious mind out of the equation. It removes the limitations that can only thrive and persist in the conscious mind allowing the subconscious mind to excel.

The subconscious mind serves at your discretion like a machine to do what it is told, making the key to its effectiveness removing the coding limitations. The ascension process is reprogramming it with empowering affirmations, positive instructions, and removing self-limiting negative programming. This extradinaily effective apprehension unit stops public enemies before they can rummage or obstruct your potential. Your mind can be an elite weapon.

MAKE YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND YOUR SUPERPOWER. YOUR DOUBT IS YOUR LIMITATION! YOU BECOME WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE. PLOT YOUR COURSE AND POSITION YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY.

 

 

Thurston K. Atlas
Creating A Buzz