Is it cheaper to keep em? Let’s add it up!
Now that I have your attention, why not talk about relationships, check this out. We all have unique and specific traditions including the manner in which we have been raised that shapes our perspective from its young inception. This forms a significant combination that reflects how we act today at any age of reasoning or accountability. In other words, everything we have experienced contributes to some varying degree to how we view life which in turn instructs our behavior from the very beginning of life, cognizant or not. These are the ways we learn by what we were taught or by what we have experienced. Even if these are shared experiences, they can never be perceived precisely the same.
The integrity of our core evolves from our experiences and this is how we learned to be, preferred, or not. And sometimes it even prevents us from being free for not being that way or open to change. Don’t get me wrong, everything is not open for negotiations, of course, we have our standards. From the restrictive lens in the confines of our “learned knowledge” and “limited experiences” specific to our upbringing the standard is established by which we project ourselves as well as judge others.
Time may heal, but it most certainly also distorts. The distortion that I’m referring to is how you became how you are which primarily makes you yourself at your core, distorted against the strength of prior held beliefs as they pertained to the time period developed but not accounting for the changes of time. Once the expansion of your knowledge and experience mostly consisted of a significant time in a diaper and then on a potty. It is understandable if children do childish things and lack the proper self-control but not adults. The passing of time distorts relationships and smothers aspirations through routines that secretly build boredom, resentment, or complacency.
The passage of time changes many things, the young becomes the old, flexibility of the body is exchanged for flexibility of thought called maturity, and as things evolve change is going to happen. The passion you use to feel, the anticipation, the excitement that was intoxicating has been exposed to father time and maybe in need of renovation or serious consideration of updating because your needs would be better suited. Or just maybe surrender to acceptance, comfortability, and familiarity. It might not be decision-making time but at least it is evaluation time.
Let me ask you something, that just as much as you are committed to your way why can’t someone else be just as committed to their way with their path not so different from your very own dear path? Yours is yours. Theirs is theirs. The key is both must be respected and devoid of infringement and injustice within or outside your view but must possess acceptance even tolerance if necessary because an agreement may not be attainable. We do not have to agree, an agreement is not necessary, only in the way of agreeing that you will respect mine as I will respect yours. It is a manageable compromise based upon what you are willing to give and what you are willing to accept that meets each other’s level of being persuaded.
There are parts of people you think you know very well that is hidden from view and not for display. Concealment of your way promotes a response toward that masquerade instead of that which would be preferable to your core need. This where that core either propels you or confines you. Are you adhering to obsolete and antiquated images that form a projection that comforts you, so you cling to that which is familiar but of little benefit? Still guarding the fox hole when the matter has been determined long ago to be no longer contested, be what you are.
Will it be kept 1000 for the masquerade or changed to address the real expectation that is unfulfilled? Being able to achieve a compromise or change must be directed toward securing a satisfactory benefit or outcome for the real problem. The more concessions you receive, the greater level of satisfaction you have, and the more compromise or concessions you are willing to give in return. The sweet spot is where a balance is created for the transfer of preferences received in exchange for preferences given for the mutual elevation of individual and collective purposes.
Old players say it is not what you do but how you do it, real players say it is what you do and how you do it, show some class and have some respect for yourself as well as others. Let us examine the real reason why things might be the way they are or have been to evaluate if an effective logic guided these responses, behaviors, and judgments. We are left to wonder why someone doesn’t just improve themself to make themself less of the problem and more of the best version of themselves. Heaven forbids, perhaps even a pleasure to be around. Or maybe even like it used to be a long, long time ago, remember when we had a reason. This behavior should seem obvious, but it is going to have to take a rude awakening to discover that the bed is cold because it was made that way.
The game is to be sold not told. Cost comes in many ways and payment is accepted in many more ways. There is a compromise of expectations that are understood then producing an exchange of what is it going to cost me and what you are going to give me in return of equal or greater value. Value as in improving my life by my association with you. This mutual understanding is applied across the board as motivation to adhere to an acceptable level of conduct or justification to be able to receive the agreed upon consideration in return, it goes both ways. What is the motivation, give me a good reason, fair exchange has never been robbery?
The reasons we cannot ignore to do the things we do, the why, and for whom or what. Time reinforces distortions that magnify and create insecurity by way of doubt that lead us to a voluntary forbearance of our necessities that build to a level of dissatisfaction while craving a resolution to satisfy the void. It is human nature to feel lack and have a corresponding emotional disposition. That feeling of lack is influenced by exterior forces but embraced by yourself as a recognition of being in a state of needing more to achieve greater happiness.
It is asking your very nature to be revealed leaving someone feeling unable to give it or maybe unworthy of receiving it by virtue of some deep refusal to express themself and be themselves. It flows purely when given freely and humbling when overflowingly received. This is the nectar of life that illustrates what once was that can somehow be restored for a cost of a willingness towards change. Just the small price of a little change, a willingness to pay the ticket for that change.
Getting tired and a little fed up? Isn’t it time to demand a lot more? Now, what changes are to be needed? Is it asking for too much? Well, there is real good news of a technique that you can use for guaranteed results to fix this. What you must do is simply realize that the relationship I am referring to is the one with yourself and the changes are the ones you need to make within yourself since they are the only ones you have control over.
Yes, I’m talking about you and if it is cheaper to keep them meaning your projections and perspectives without challenging the continued need for your beliefs and behavior. The very effect this has on yourself, others, and the quality of your relationships and life. If the only change has been changed to if only I change. The power, control, and responsibility for your own feelings or behavior in addition to being accountable for what you do or fail to do avoiding any obligation to be responsible for someone else behavior. Is what you give what you seek to receive, a sort of self-check tune-up, or frankly an overhaul. Like a new outfit to feel brand new.
Just make your self-assessment to determine what is desirable and implement what it will take to attract that and that is what you would need to become. The change you would want the most is probably the one you need to make the most. Double the improvement, kill two birds with one stone. Hold yourself to a high standard of integrity and principle. Your level of sophistication dictates your perspective. Primitive perspective generates primitive behavior. Your perspective dictates your mood and serenity. Controlling your mood controls your behavior.
Be responsible for your being without imposing control to conceal your deficiencies and insecurities by making yourself more attractive to yourself and then the world. A willingness to change by improving, evolving, growing, reinventing, pursuing, expressing, challenging, and in other words living without the self-restricting doubts. Just worked on updating your equipment and then you can make demands of the highest order. Now is a good time to begin because I don’t think it’s cheaper to keep old self-defeating ways, especially if it is a loose fit or worst way too tight.
Moral of the story < Be certain not to have become the very thing you despise the most and bring dissatisfaction upon yourself refusing to adjust to the passing of time and prevailing prudence. Your level of contentment rests with your adaptability to your environment, to attract your desired preferences, and to sufficiently produce resources for such. Don’t flatter yourself, what is not attractive in others is no more somehow attractive in you.
Start eliminating excuses and become what you would like to be and should be by sacrificing the proper effort to become that which is self-fulfilling. It will be the best relationship you ever had. Do not be that person where it is said behind your back of course, that you are no bed of roses. No matter what, don’t be the problem in your life because you cannot change. When you add it up, it is never cheaper to keep em.
Thurston K. Atlas
Creating A Buzz